every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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