Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
