I didn't shave. On purpose
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
