Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize