I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
