Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize