my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize