Kiss
Puke
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
