I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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