you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize