is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
