I'm so fucking centered right now
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
