Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
