A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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