1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
