Cold hands, warm shart.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
