good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
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