I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize