my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
