you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize