I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
