I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
