are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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