It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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