Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
