I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I understand Curling. That high.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
