and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
