Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
