You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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