How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize