How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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