You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
