dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
