You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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