defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
