we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
