we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize