We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
