when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
