pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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