so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
