Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize