Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
