I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
