I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
