I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
