My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
