Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
