You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
