Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
