Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
