Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
