You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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