How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
