Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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