it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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