Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
