Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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