btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
