Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
